Mo Babies Mo Problems - What bugs me about the healthcare system

Okay, I try not to put my truly personal business out on the web, but I just want to take a moment and have a little rant about our health care system. I am so fed up and sick of it! Please indulge me and allow me a moment for a temper tantrum. As some may know, my lovin’ husband and I have been struggling to have a child these last 5 years.  I don’t like to talk about it really, because it is deeply personal and probably the biggest struggle and heart break I’ve had in my life so far, so I’m not really going to get into that here. I’m just putting it out there to explain why we get to deal with the lovely medical system.

The first time I wrote this post I gave a brief synopsis of the path that we’ve been on, but even though it was vague and tasteful (and very therapeutic for me to write!), I am not going to share it here. Instead of those dets, I’ve created my top 5 pet peeves we’ve experienced with the medical system so far:

1-      Why are patients not allowed to talk? Hasn’t study after study shown that all doctors need to do is allow their patient to talk for about 2 minutes, to not only allow the patient to feel heard, but also to allow for a more proper and concise diagnosis? With the 3 doctors I’ve seen I don’t think I’ve been able to get out 3 sentences together. A couple minutes out of their day for each patient isn’t going to put them out of business, I think it would only give them more.

2-      How can insurance companies still be getting away with not covering such a common and serious medical issue as infertility? If preventing/terminating a pregnancy is a suitable medical need that is covered, how can the reverse not be suitable as well? I’m not trying to say that women shouldn’t be allowed birth control or anything, just that if medication to prevent pregnancy is insurable, then medication to promote pregnancy should be as well. Also, our insurance coverage has significantly deteriorated in the last 5 years, even though I’ve kept good jobs that were supposed to have amazing benefits. I basically feel like I don’t even have insurance with my high deductible plan, everything seems to be coming out of MY pocket.

3-      It’s all about the Benjamin$. Not only are doctors inflating their pay by requiring un-needed test, but some doctors are requiring you get ALL tests done from them. It doesn’t matter if the tests were already ran by another office, it doesn’t matter if you really only need to be tested in one or two areas- it seems like they are requiring ALL OR NOTHING.

4-      It may be all about mullah, but nobody seems to want to talk about it! Letting you know the amount of money you will be paying for these tests and services is not a concern or priority for most doctors. Maybe they don’t like to discuss it because the cost would have you running scared ($3,000 out of pocket for an introductory blood test? Yeah, that happened. How could that not instill fear in the hearts of patients?), but I still think it needs to be given its own weight and conversation. I would not hire a contractor or purchase a sofa without first knowing the costs. Why then would I participate in some of the most vital and personal services of my life without first knowing the costs?

5-      Control. I feel like all power or control is taken away from the patients. I have absolutely no say in what or how I want to move forward with possible medical problems. They have all the cards and know the game, while I have no cards to play and have no instructions for the game. I am completely at their mercy. Not that I would want to tell a physician how to do their job or anything. I wouldn’t want anyone telling me how to do my job, but I feel like there is no balance.  Everything is on their terms.

Okay. So that is my rant. Pretty sad isn’t it. I know I am whiny, but I can’t help being frustrated with the whole thing. And because I can’t imagine living this life and not getting the chance to be a mother, I really have no choice but to deal with it. Put on my big girl pants and move forward. It sucks . . . so is life. But life has taught me that those things which are really worth having, and have the biggest reward, are not usually easily obtained. Being a parent takes crazy sacrifice, We have just started to sacrifice our sanity a little bit earlier than usual for our kids. Onward with doctors, onward with adoption research, onward with foster care research. It will come in its own time, I know, it is just hard.